I should be doing biophysics homework, but I literally have no motivation whatsoever.  I can barely stand to look at the problems.  I need help.  I really hate it when professors have only 3 schedules lecture slots a week, and they build there class such that they make it where just going to these lectures is not enough, so they force you to come into your TA's or prof's office hours, even though you already have a damn-full schedule and do not have time except after 5pm to do anything, and no one has office hours that late.  I guess they all have lives or something stupid like that.  Either way, it really pisses me off.  Why don't they just schedule a discussion section like any other normal class?  Is it beyond them?  What the hell is their dysfunction?

I've gotten to used to things getting terrible and out of my control and then so bad that the only thing I can do is give up and then learn to let go.  I've gotten really good at letting go.  But now I don't know how to pick anything up and hold onto it.  I can't afford to drop anymore classes unless I add a 2nd half-semester course, which is what I did last semester, and it ended up working out terribly.  I failed the course I picked up.  I just want to start over this semester... no... I want to start over my whole college career, starting the summer before when I made what is now the most negatively impacting decision of my life.

I can't seem to just sit down and focus on anything and get anything done... and the worst part is that I'm losing the capability to feel bad about it or stressed or driven enough to make me do anything different.  I have just let go of all of these feelings.  I have lost my drive.  That too I have let go of.

Get me out of this place.  Someone?!  Can anyone hear this???!!