Day 1 of medication.  The psychiatrist decided to give me Zoloft because it acts against both anxiety and depression.  I'd have to say, I was a little disappointed because there was no formal diagnosis, he didn't explore the possibility of bipolar disorder but just looked at the most readily apparent symptoms, which I guess are the most important to treat anyway.  We talked over the other findings that I got from the counselor's session and also decided that it would be a good idea to supplement with counseling because some of the origin of both of these conditions comes from something that drugs cannot treat: obsession, inability to let go, guilt, self-hatred, fear.  I took the first 25 mg dose directly after the appointment because I figure I don't have any time of my life to waste, especially if these things aren't supposed to kick in for about a week or so.  I'm still too afraid to go back to the class that I skipped in order to make this appointment.  I don't know what will happen if I do.  No one told me what will happen.  No one prepared me for this.  I'll try to start writing on here more to track my progress.

So far, not even a placebo effect.  Still just as frustrated, afraid, angered, and debilitated as before.  No change.  Only thing that helped me get through most of earlier today and yesterday was talking to my PI about her life story which must remain confidential so I cannot write about it on here.  All I can say is that it scared me out of the torture chamber of a microcosm that I had put myself in.