I now remember what it is like to really listen to God, but not just this, because one can listen while there is no sound, so though he's listening he will hear nothing. I remember now what it is to listen to God and to have Him "talk" (another anthropomorphism), and I have learned that I do not need a molecular mechanism to describe something in order to partake in it. God speaks in many ways, and it's very possible that He communicates in a different way to each person, maybe not radically different, but in small variations. Describing what it is like is not as fruitless but definitely akin to trying to describe a color. Color (as described by my friend Chun who is taking a few philosophy classes this semester) is something that is perceived, not an intrinsic property of materials. Sure, every substance reflects a predictable wavelength(s) of light, and then this light hits the retina, and then gets sent via optic nerve to the brain. But then what? It is perceived. And no one can possibly communicate that perception to anyone else; it is theirs and theirs alone, and someone else might look at the same object, receive the same wavelength of light, but perceive a color completely different, and neither of them would know nor be able to communicate about it. It's a similar instance to how God communicates and we perceive it. Sure there may be some mechanism which He uses out there, but the second that His words come into contact with our mind, they become individual, and God knows exactly how to communicate to each and every one of us His created in the way that we need to hear it.
My mom just gave me a very encouraging phone call. She just told me about how much God has been comforting her lately, even just through a lot of little things and that she just got so joyful after reading Luke the other night because she was feeling sad for some reason and did not want to go to bed like that. I love my mother. Somehow she knows exactly when to call me and exactly the right words to use, as eccentric as she can be (I can sympathize with her eccentricity). I'm almost crying because of what she said; it was just so genuine, like talking with God is just an everyday thing for her. Then I realize that for me, deeply talking with God is a very recently rediscovered thing for me... she's been doing it for longer than twice my life time. Of course it's natural for her; this was really uplifting.
I have more to say in apology to Kelly that has been on my mind today, but I am ashamed to say that I shall have to wait until either I can say it to her face either in person or via webcam (less than two days away...).
I really should try talking to Vanessa or Shane soon about how their break is going. So far I've only heard about Shane's part of the story, and I really feel sorry for him. I can only imagine what Vanessa is going through. I think they will be the first people that I message when I get back on Facebook.
Kelly's letter still has not come yet :(. But that means that it's definitely going to come tomorrow (unless there is a disgruntled mailman involved). Instead I chose to read over her last letter that she sent me and was comforted by it, and in this reminiscent moment I hereby enter the song of this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s0xV8T3VMM&NR=1
1 comment:
Color... that's a superb analogy. Way to go! (After all, it's not like color can't be shared at least in part.)
I am grateful that your mom can do all that for you. Yeah, she is pretty out there, but if she were noraml, then Dan wouldn't be the Dan I know and love.
I think I have finished commenting. Dan, of course, do coment on these as you like, or ask me about stuff that you wanted me to commetn on but I didn't.
So far, you have grown a lot. In the short couple of days since you stopped posting regularly, you have demonstrated a transformation. The day will come when you are doubtful and scared again, and when it does I pray that all the current growth is not blown away like smoke, but that a foundation is laid down that will not be shaken.
They say that the Lord is faithful. I am still wrestling with all the meanings that this idea bears, but I certainly see it in the way the He kept poking your heart and pursuing you, even in your stubbornness and pain. Remember that He does that, and He does it well.
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