Day 3 continued

(This was an old draft that I had saved from first semester sophomore year some time.  I found other drafts that I didn't think Google had saved, but I guess they did, so now I guess I'll post them post facto).

Song of the moment, because I guess I already gave the song of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-ARX4kFdpk

I shall be posting some of the things that God has been showing me and the things that I have been finding in the Bible. I warn that there will be mixed questions that seem like statements and statements that are really questions. Do not be fooled, I don't have all of this figured out, but I am working towards it, and if God chooses to let me reach the answers I seek, then so be it, and if not, then I will have learned from the journey. The goal is to honor God, not just to solve mysteries.

Jonah.
Even though one of the most well known characters of the Bible grappled with the idea that God has the ability to "go back on His stated intentions" in heavily anthropomorphic terms (when in this case we have already seen that God may have been intentionally ambiguous about His real intention for the city of Ninevah). Though at first glance, this frustrates my goal of figuring out God's justice/how He is able to sustain an apparent contradiction, it is very encouraging to me that, even though I cannot quite grasp it, neither could at least one of the figures in the Bible itself. It seems this issue is a lot older than I initially thought, and as such, it seems like something that God is intentionally keeping... well... maybe not a mystery per se, but at least ambiguous, meaning, that maybe it's not necessarily that there is no answer out there, but there are a few to choose from, though which one is clearly right remains uncertain. After studying linguistics a very little, I understand that there is much purpose for intended ambiguity, though it will take me some more prayer to understand what that purpose might be, as well as to find the context of a different example.

Differences between P and J accounts of God.
-Abraham pleads with God, makes Him seem more merciful and just in human terms. Destroys Sodom and Gomorrah because there were no righteous people; they were all even from their old to their young.
-P tells a different story with the Egyptians. Here, He is trying to emphasize the all-powerful nature of God, and coming from his priestly background, gives all reverence and fear due to God, so much so that it is unthinkable in this narrative to challenge or question God's will, even when it is to destroy the firstborn of all from Pharaoh to even those people oppressed by Pharaoh (those in his dungeon) in Egypt. But lets look at this; what is God's main purpose? Is it to punish Pharaoh? Or is it to convince Himself to the Israelites in a way that they would understand and believe in Him and know His might? One must bear in mind the entire time that God is the One Who created the law in the first place. Initially, this doesn't sound like that good of an argument, that God can do whatever He wants... but isn't that the case? The real question is, what does God want? Even this is not so simple a question, because He can use, and often does, indirect means to accomplish His will. This gets into the difference between God's hidden will and his revealed will. We are only given his revealed will, and that is really all we have to work with. Sure, people can speculate all they want about what God wants, saying that anything in existence must be His will because it exists (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyyRX__4jQE) <- NOT the song of the day... is this necessarily the case though? Maybe? but even if it did this very well could fall into God's hidden will, which we cannot understand and should not try to--I don't think there exists a clear method of justification for God's own actions (does God even need justification for Himself? No, He doesn't need anything. Or is this something that is brought in as something to communicate between God and man). This does not mean that we should stop trying to understand God's justice so far as it is imparted in His revealed will. That is what I shall try to do, because it is something that is... well... a lot more possible to be done. Does this sound like I am making excuses? It may appear that way to someone who does not first believe God and start all of their logical thought processes from this. I still wrestle with telling the difference between what can be known and I should strive after, and what cannot, but this is something that only God can tell me, so I should not worry about it. I shall seek the truth and let God decide how much of it He will let me find without worrying about it. What else can I do more?

[And once again, the place that I am at in Final Fantasy X more or less mirrors my life (this is the song playing at the part I am at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_JiRpDJJRU&feature=related)]