Want
Without referring to a dictionary to define the terms that I use, I shall explain that this word entails a whimsical desire, however strong it may be. It is something that is inessential by very definition, however to want something does not exclude one's needing of whatever it may be. I say whimsical, because wants can stand alone, without reason, without backing, based upon nothing but one's random existential feelings of the moment.
Need
The critical issue with this word is that it cannot stand alone. Need implies a purpose or end of some sort. You do not need food, clothing, or shelter in and of themselves. You need them to stay alive. There is nothing that one inherently needs without some sort of purpose to back it. So this brings me to the point < of the post.
I was reading over a book on relationships and it says that a wife/girlfriend should be (and should feel) needed by her husband/boyfriend. So here begs the question... what does he need her for? Should he need her for anything? Let's list some possibilities that may arise...
Existence? no... I existed before I met Kelly.
Well, what about happiness? This comes from God, and I was quite happy before I met her as well. She did bring a great deal of happiness with her when she waltzed into my life, but I would not classify this as something that is essential for my happiness, which was very much present beforehand.
Hmm... what then about meaning in life? It is necessary for the success of any relationship in the long term and short for both individuals to have a secure understanding of themselves and the meaning they possess, both innate and acquired.
This is not meant to be at all derogatory to you Kelly, but what is it that you, or any other female for that matter really wants (needs?) to be needed for? I perfectly understand the need to be needed, but that does not eliminate the necessity for a purpose in this argument.
Am I over-thinking this?
Am I over-thinking this?
Is the answer staring right at me in the face?
Is there no answer and that is the point?
Should one need another even if they have nothing essential to offer them?
This would not be need, and I'm sure I could think of a much better term for it, but I don't think this is a matter of sheer terminology. Words stand for ideas, and therein lies the query I have.
What is it that I am to need? Does needing necessitate a dependence? Should not one be only dependent upon God? I will leave it at this for now. I do not want to make our relationship conditional, but to need necessitates a condition that can either be met or unmet, though that is not to say that the relationship would be made or broken based upon said need.
Farewell for now, my Kelly. One thing that I need you for is someone to understand me in a way that only you can. Unmet would entail a specific loneliness that could not be filled in any other way.
1 comment:
It seems to me that it's not a matter of needing me or not, but rather for what things do you need me, and are those things right and good.
So, you don't need me to exist or be happy or any of that. That sounds as God intended.
And, perhaps you don't need me for anything exactly, because I can't seem to think of anything. I mean, now that you know me, care about me, and are in a relationship with me, I'm sure that you "need" the good continuing of that relationship in order to keep a certain amount of sanity, or "happiness," or something like that, since a termination would result in much sadness and other such things.
But, that's getting kind of technical and picky with the definition of necessity. Getting to the heart of it, I say again that I can't think of any reason why you really need me for anything important. I can't think of any reason why I need you.
I want you in my life, though. And, since you are, in fact, in it, I presume that God made it happen and that he deemed it good. I can go on, if you just need some reassurance. But, if you're not searching just for that, then do comment, and we can continue pondering together.
There are many reasons why God might bring two people together. Maybe that will hold the answer to your questions.
By the way, what exactly prompted this blog?
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