Depth vs Breadth

Interesting point I have realized about myself in attempts to find a pattern to why my mind is choosing to do what it is: In retrospect, any other romantic interest of mine has not lasted for longer than I think about two years (rounded up). This holds true with the first person I stupidly liked simply because it was my first year at school and hence the first time I had really been around anyone for any long period of time. This lasted a little less than a year. Same case with the number 2 in 7th grade - didn't last til 8th grade. I really can't remember if there was any one person in 8th grade like the previous two years. I remember one vaguely, but it seems that it only started via suggestion of a different friend, who I listened to and produced feelings accordingly. Either way, it still minimally fits the mold I have made though brings down the average to about a year. Then there was Central for freshman year, where I didn't get to know anyone close enough for there to be any significant attachment other than a vicarious attraction that died after that year. Back to CLA for soph year. Half-way through then I guess is when the longest encoded memory of a romantic obsession I had, but which also died somewhere during senior year (I'm guessing around Christmas, two years later).

Drawing back to the point of writing any of this, I expect my relationship that I'm in to last a lot longer than just a year and a half or two as with all the other romantic entities that were of far less importance. I guess what has been making me feel suddenly strange about my relationship only very recently is because it's about this time that any other romantic interest would have faded and been replaced by a new one, thus repeating the cycle ad infinitum. The cycle has been broken (good), and where I would normally be looking for someone new to restart the cycle, I now have broken away in a tangent line and am continuing with this one farther than the cycle's circumference ever could have taken me. It's something more different, new, and filled with the unknown to be explored than would have been starting anew with someone else, simply because I have not been this deep into another's life because it takes time and continuous effort, and this is where the real adventure begins.

A much needed perspective shift when the subconscious rest of me that would blindly follow through with the same old pattern was rebelling against my own conscious conscience.